do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
