Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
she woke up with a sticky ear
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
