how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
