Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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