Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
