bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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