My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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