i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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