I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
