I'm jealous of your bromance
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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