Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Someone shit on the floor
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
