do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
