It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
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It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
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Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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