no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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