haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Life is so much better after having sex.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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