She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize