Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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