So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Randomize
