i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
