Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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