oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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