she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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