Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
