I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
