Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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