man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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