1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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