she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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