do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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