The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
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you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
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i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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