I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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