sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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