BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
