i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
