I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
