I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
