somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
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