I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
