Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
