Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize