Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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