Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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