Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
