I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
