Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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