No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
