Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
