Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
