Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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