All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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