I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
