I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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