"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
