would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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