I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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