Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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