Duck Duck Cougar?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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