Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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