Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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