I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
