I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
