so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
