i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
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he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
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I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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