Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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