Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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